Yeah, Okay.

Here are some things from this week that made Kissy Pissy again:

Schmoogaly Woogaly Overload. 
I don't know what the hell is going on but suddenly everyone is on some kind of cutesy, saccharine-ish bandwagon.
Example:  on Facebook, some of my 'friends' are constantly typing messages to each other like this:

I love you!
No, I love you!
Nope, I said it first - I LOVE YOU!

Nice, if it's once in awhile, but I read this kind of thing several times a day since I joined Facebook a year ago and I'm getting seriously creeped out by it.
You're saying..."but Kissy, love is wonderful!  Why would people professing their love for each other bother you so?  Are you some kind of hater?"

Maybe it's because I run with a different kind of crowd and we just don't sit around talking to each other like that (unless alcohol is involved)...

I love you, man.

But, whatever...all I know is that I'm not getting the warm fuzzies when I have to read the love messages these middle-aged people are sending back and forth to each other 6+ times a day.
Get a room!
Or ease up on the meds.
I think what really bugs me about this is that I LOVE YOU - the three greatest and most powerful words ever - becomes ordinary when it's said or read incessantly.   It becomes tedious, gratuitous, trite, cliche' and even worse...cheap.

Don't toss this around too carelessly.

Being Told That A 16-Year-Old Girl Traversing The World Alone On Her Sailboat Is Some Kind Of Trailblazing, Rite-Of-Passage Thing. 
Yeah, no...it's just a stupid thing.  I don't care how mature, able-bodied, smart, savvy or otherwise other-worldly this girl is...she's 16.  Hello, pirates?  Hello, rogue waves?  Hello, her dad is shopping a reality television show but is denying that by saying it's actually a tool to get kids off of their computers (and in front of the television instead)?
And if one more person writes one more sappy, coming-of-age, rite of passage article about this debacle, I'm slapping them.  I am fully aware that there are very young people the world over who engage in all sorts of cultural/religious/traditional adventurous rites of passage...yet there are no news reports...no television coverage, etc.  Male Australian Aborigines go on walkabouts in which they undergo a journey during adolescence and live in the wilderness for a period as long as six months. In this practice they would trace the paths, or "songlines", that their people's ceremonials ancestors took, and imitate, in a fashion, their heroic deeds.  Where is their news coverage, their television show?
Real Aborigines of Outback County?
Boonga Woonga and Matoonga Faloonga Plus 8?
19 Aborigines and Counting?

Did you know you can buy merchandise via this girl's website?  Since when does merchandising have anything to do with trailblazing?  With a rite of passage?  With anything other than being opportunistic?

"Honey, we want you to set out on this journey...we want your soul and your mind and your heart to expand...we want you to grow in spirit and come to know and rely on yourself through circumstances both calamitous and joyful...we want you to learn that you are truly capable of anything and everything...and, oh yeah, we're going to "commemorate" this important moment in your life by selling shirts, sandals, boots, sneakers, stickers, posters, etc to the general public..."  

Puh-leeze. 
(Here's an actual realistic/technical article about this story, for anyone interested)

Bloggers Who Are Being Paid To Hawk Stuff.
Ever go to a website because you think you might be interested in whatever it is that is on that website and then you have to sit through some kind of pop-up advertisement before you get to the content you went there for in the first place.
Maddening, right?
More than once this week I have come across blogs whose blog posts are reviews of products that they are being paid to review. I know that they're being paid for the review I am inadvertently reading because there is a disclaimer somewhere in the post (usually at the bottom in really small print) that says, in essence, that
"I am being paid for this post by XYZ Company and it is entirely 100% my opinion".
Maddening, right?
I read blogs for the blog writer's opinion, yes; I don't read blogs so that I can read their paid opinion of the latest and greatest Pop-Tart flavor or whatever.  I don't begrudge anyone making money however they need to - particularly when it's a clever or an unorthodox method of doing so - but there's something about this that leaves me with an inauthentic, misleading feeling.  Plus I don't believe a single glowing word they're writing about the product.  Come on, now...you're being paid to sit at home in front of your computer reviewing the free product(s) you're being sent...and you're going to give a bad review?  Yeah, right.
Oh, you might say something like:

"the color of the lemon Pop-Tart's filling could be just a bit more yellow to give it a more genuine lemon-y appeal" 

But you are not going to say:

"holy crap, don't buy the new lemon Pop-Tarts because they suck and even the dog wouldn't eat it".  

We all know that one does not poop where one eats.

I think that if you are a blogger who is going to sell out be paid to post about products, then you should consider a secondary page/link where your readers can opt-in to go to that page to read your reviews instead of having to opt-out.
And by opt-out I mean stop reading your advertisement blog altogether.

I've said it before and I'll say it again (and again and again...):

Stay tuned...next post up will be stuff that DOES NOT make Kissy pissy.

Shake It Up & Keep It Real.

On an almost daily basis, I read a lot of blogs.
I have my favorites but sometimes I wander away from them and look for new ones to add to my fave list.

What I've been noticing as I've been wandering around the blogosphere (<---I hate these stupid blog-related words) is that it seems like everyone's posting pictures of things likes some amazingly complicated food with hard-to-find exotic ingredients like lemongrass or chestnut flour some such thing (that you can only get if you live in a major city or via mail order) that they used when they whipped together last night's dinner...or some fabulous crafty thing made with dried pasta and mod podge that they're selling for $500 on etsy but I "better hurry and order one because all 75 of them are almost sold out"...or their 2-week European or Hawaiian or European/Hawaiian vacation...or their perfect children who get perfect grades when they're performing perfectly at one of the 34 weekly after-school activities that the whole perfect family never misses a practice for...

Hello?
What's with all this perfect?
When did blogger start equaling Stepford Wife?

Where's the real stuff?

Like, the part where the husband spit out the lemongrass concoction, threw his plate against the wall and demanded "normal" food, shouting that he'd "really like a damn meatloaf every once in awhile" as he stormed out the door and drove off like a maniac, screeching tires and all.

But not before slamming on the brakes to shout one more thing out of the car window:   
"...and stop taking pictures of every-friggen-thing to post on your blog!".

The inside of my refrigerator which 

badly needs to be cleaned out / organized

Don't you sometimes just picture the blogger sitting down to write the fabricated post entitled "Fabulous Lemongrass Meal" while crying uncontrollably and drinking a few glasses of scotch as she wondered if this time her husband would come back home that night to sleep.  Or is that just me?

This is one of the fabulous paper plates 

we eat our meals off of each day

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if blogging is just turning into an activity similar to one of those Christmas newsletters, only written regularly instead of once a year.

I see this - what should I call it? trend? - on Facebook all the time, too.  Everybody seems to need to let everyone know about every mundane and conceivable thing they're thinking/doing/feeling/wanting/etc and everyone who reads it, is somehow compelled to 'like' every single thing.

Sample Facebook statuses:
 

My stomach is growling.  That must mean I'm hungry!  Better go eat a sandwich!!

You and 6 people like this.

My son/daughter cleaned his/her room!

14 people like this.

If I knew someone who picked up the telephone and called me to tell me stuff like this, I'd change my phone number.

/

My unused/ignored vacuum cleaner still in the same odd place 

(middle of dining room) that is was placed days ago

Come on, admit it.  There've been times when you wished you had the courage to respond to such banality with what you really want to say.  Right?  Or is that just me, too?

Or are you one of those comment gusher types?

• Enjoy your sandwich.  No one deserves it more than you!
• You are so blessed to have a child who cleans their room.
• Wow!  Cleaned the room?!  That's terrific!  You're obviously such a great parent!!!

WTF?  Who talks to each other in real life like this?  It's oh-so-one-dimensional and Twilight-Zone-ish.
Even worse than that, it's like some kind of online cyber - oh, it's so hard for me to even type these dreadful words! - small talk.

Unplanted plants that will die soon if not 

planted  in pots + weed overgrowth

So what's up with all this sweetness and light and need for positive reinforcement?
Do you think it has to do with escapism?  I mean, let's face it, sitting down and writing about some happy stuff is WAY better than popping Prozac or drinking those aforementioned glasses of scotch, any day of the week.

Well, most days of the week, anyhow.  Nothing wrong with a good stiff one (drink) when necessary. 

If sunshine and puppy dogs are what a person needs/likes/wants, I'm the last person who would want to take that away from them (trust me, I've got some quirky escapisms and likes and dislikes of my own, I assure you.)   I guess what I'm saying and feeling is that as delightful as sunshine and puppy dogs are (to most people...I adore puppies but I actually prefer cloudy days to sunny ones, but that's just me), it can get a little boring when that's all a person talks about.  Way too one-dimensional for me, you know what I mean?  

Anyway, like I always say, if you don't like the song that's on the radio, don't sit there complaining about how much you don't like the song...simply turn the dial until you find a song that you do like.

But, no matter what, you still should try doing this from time to time: