It was sort of a long holiday weekend filled with a few "what do you want to do/I don't know what do you what to do" moments. Whenever that happens it usually means neither of us wants to do anything but happily stay at home but we're afraid that will disappoint the other. Used to be that we would frantically think of something - anything! - to do which would always wind up being disastrous. Now we're pretty good at getting to the point of saying how about we just do nothing. Très simple!
What a treat to have my husband home for three days with no obligations. I live for this. We do things around the house but mostly we play as we are doing what we need to do...and by that I mean we behave as silly as we want with the goal of making each other laugh. Put a price on that!
Despite my delight at having a 3-day weekend with my family, I do look forward to them returning to work so I can get back to doing my thing. Last week I was intensively updating this site and doing the same for my Kissy Lovestuff Pinterest, Twitter and Facebook pages and over the weekend I found myself longing to get back to it.
You see, there is a little tiny thrill that courses through me that I never got when I was doing these same activities as plain old me! There is something quite wonderful about having an alter ego and I really think more people should do it. It's very free-ing. I am more ME as someone else!
But why do I do it? Well, it isn't because I'm off my meds - ha! (For the record, I don't take any meds although the jury is out on whether or not I should!)
Kissy Lovestuff started because it was my nickname. I once told him that I was "feeling all kinds of kissy lovestuff" toward him and it just stuck. At the time I had a really popular blog that I loved under my real name but unfortunately at the same time we were dealing with his very unhappy ex-wife and she was harassing me online. I had to walk away from it because it was no longer joyful because I knew she was reading whatever I wrote and posted.
I could no longer be me, comfortably...
But there were other reasons. For one, too many people I knew personally knew of my blog and/or were Facebook 'friends', etc. As a result I edited everything I did because inevitably something I wrote about would offend someone. So I held back, a lot and often. Like probably 99.5% of the time.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who write or do whatever and not care one bit about ramifications but that hasn't been my experience. I come from a family who thrive on drama and I did not want to give them fodder for their dramatic addictions.
Speaking of family, I also come from a highly dysfunctional family and I am actively estranged from some of them because their method for dealing with conflict is to use the silent treatment.
Yet I am a writer at heart. I write about what I observe.
I couldn't just stop writing. That would be a loss of something that is integral to the who that I am.
I knew plenty of people who wrote under pseudonyms and it didn't take long to figure out that it was exactly what I needed to do.
Kissy Lovestuff was just the natural choice. The name epitomizes the real me...but no one aside from my husband and daughter know that it is my nickname so that makes it even more perfect.
I am under no illusion that I might be "found out" one day. As such, I don't go to any great extreme to be anonymous. Along the way I'm sure I will inadvertently drop many hints that some astute person would pick up on and figure out who I am. Or I will post a picture and someone will see it and say, "hey, wait a minute, that's XXXXX's house!"
Que sera, sera.
I am not one bit worried about that.
In fact, I think I'll give away a t-shirt or mug to the first person who figures out who I really am.
But in the meantime it is sooooo much fun!
